Do you remember the Captain’s Videos near the Forum but the other side of Kentish Town Road – where it forks to go up to Tufnell Park? I do – I went in there once. I’m not sure why. Anyway, it wasn’t what you think – just a gnarly old boy sitting on a barrel, spinning yarns to whoever would listen (which was no one when I went in) about square riggers and the golden days of sail. He told me he’d been shipwrecked as a lad and spent time on an island where all the toilets dispensed gin right out of the urinal, made with locally sourced botanicals (where possible) always seasonal and all of the very highest quality.
He survived on kebap meat, which is naturally organic – even when mixed with flipper and the scrapings from seal pelts.
I told him he was a fantasist and the sooner he was hounded out of the Towne the better.